A Protected Class

On a quiet Sunday night just outside Cleveland, Ohio, a storm was brewing.

"About twenty-five percent of the dishes you wash require additional washing," said Karen Shaniuk of the Tremont chapter of the Overly Thorough Coalition.  Apparently, this is a rampant problem throughout the country, particularly among those who live with members of the OTC.

"I had no idea that the problem encompassed a quarter of the dishes I've washed.  Can I even say that I washed them?  Do I have to use air quotes, like McCain?  You know, a quarter of the dishes I 'washed' required additional attention...  " said Susan Kennedy, also of Tremont, who is "most certainly not part of the OTC."

Kennedy declined an on-air interview, stating only that she plans to file for Protected Class status for her group, the Twenty-Five Percent of the Time Poor Dish Washers of America or TFPOTTPDWA,  (pronounced TIFFpotPIDwa) and plans a community outreach for others who may be afflicted.

"This is a very real, very serious condition, and it's important that the public be aware of how sensitive our members are."

Shaniuk did point out that, while she has to re-wash some dishes, she "suppose(s) that seventy-five percent of them don't require additional washing, so that does help some."